The Beer@Noon Diet!

Good day, good human,

I have lately been doing some writing for a new publication, a West Nashville-focused periodical entitled 372WN. I'd highly encourage you to pick one up at one of the many distribution racks you'll soon begin to see around our fair city.

That has kept me busy writing, but not so much blogging. My challenging work at my East Nashville elementary school has also limited time and energy for blogging, and I've been maintaining my new school blog regularly as well. All that said, I'm apologizing for letting my scottmerrickdotnet voice go pretty well dormant.

I recently rediscovered an item on my desktop that I want to share here, and I'm thinking that it's well-timed, this being the first day after Thanksgiving, when I went back for thirds of the Lemon, Rosemary, and Black Tea Brined Grilled Turkey I spent those well-allotted hours overseeing yesterday. Enjoy (and you're welcome):

Welcome. If you are reading this you have an open mind. Good on ya. And you’re a guy, most likely. There are not a lot of diets for us, serious or otherwise. This, my brother, is a secret. Share it not. Keep this to yourself.

The briefest backstory on the planet:  I weighed in at a Higi station in mid-July at my local Kroger pharmacy, only to discover that I was exceeding my “normal” weight by around 14 pounds. The report showed me at 219 pounds and “At Risk.” Not good. We’ll talk about my blood pressure levels later. Look:

Shortly after that inauspicious beginning with Higi, I flew to Denver, Colorado for two weeks, the first week for a professional conference, the second a week with my dear, dear wife and her Denver family, just relaxing. I knew there would be beer involved. A plot began to brew in my wee little mind. Listen, I’m 6 feet tall and at that time I worked what can be described as a desk job (I’m now back in the classroom). I stay pretty active, but not aerobically, not on any regular basis. I walk my dogs every day. I’m sure that helps, but it’s certainly not the 30 minutes of cardio exercise recommended by the pundits. What to do? What to do?

Have you seriously looked into one or another of the “usual suspects” diets? Whatever miracle drug, diet plan, club or cult you look at, the bottom line is clear. Every single motherlovin’’ diet you look—assuming it doesn’t rely on some kind of (usually dangerous) miracle drug--at ends up saying that the best long term results come from cutting calories and increasing exercise. Every single one. Hello? Hello? Hellfricking-o? Let’s do that!

One way to accomplish that necessary combination that is by “Time-restricted feeding” (TRF). Yeah, “TRF.” It’s an actual thing.  Reducing the window in which you eat, and doing so consistently, helps your body burn fats more efficiently and, at least according to http://greatist.com/eat/breakfast-weight-loss, will result in weight loss and furthermore, the maintenance of that weight loss.

My daily caloric intake over the past year or so has been pretty stable. Let’s look at a bulleted list of daily dietary habits:
● zero or low calory yogurt or a guy kibbie (think pan toasted bread with a hole in the middle, add a fried egg and basil) in the morning, sometimes a ~180 calorie breakfast bar if it’s the kind of morning I am off late to work and need pocket-portable food (“Let’s go somewhere we can eat in the car!”)
● a sandwich or plate of something yummy for lunch, taken at or packed to work from my lovely wife’s storefront, Tinwings, by pilfering the employee food bin
● a handful of nuts or a stick of cheese from the fridge when I get home to tide me over to
● a beer, or two, or three
● dinner: a balanced, delicious meal prepared by me or by my lovely wife, who happens to be an accomplished catering and fresh retail foods chef
● a cocktail or two

What can we do to create a time-limited experience that will moderate caloric intake, keep the body healthy, and have fun doing it? I took the lightning bolt to the brain:

The Beer!@Noon!Diet!

● Nothing but black coffee and water before noon
● A “good beer” at noon

              * Don’t drink crappy beer
● Anything you want after that, but…
                *always leave something on the plate
                *eat less than ¼ of the bun, when applicable
                *moderate any other alcohol intake
                *drink water all day
■ A 12 oz. glass of water between any other of any kind of beverage, and
                *keep your eyes open for terrorists
● No snacks no problem—oddly, but true to research, that extra water you are drinking will let you feel generally less hungry
● Walk the dog (or yourself) every day
● Do three instances of 20 minutes increased pulse rate per week, minimum
● Smile

● Do it over and over again, for as long as 2 weeks at a time
                *Go off of it when you want, come back when you want

Colorado is certainly the craft brew state of the nation. Just take a look at the Colorado Breweries List, and yes, that’s a thing, too. I’m too lazy to count them. Well, maybe I should. Okay, I tried but lost track. I’m sorry. Count them for yourself. Hundreds, I say, hundreds. Probably my favorite discovery of the trip was Great Divide’s Hercules Double IPA. Man oh man is that a great 12 ounces of glory. It’s a no nonsense hopfest, with a citrusy start and a serious hoppy finish, all the while malty rich and full of flavor. 

Here’s the thing. After practicing the Beer@NoonDiet from June 23 to July 8, I returned to my home in Nashville. On July 9, I visited the same Higi.com station at Kroger on Charlotte Avenue. I weighed in at 217, just a two pound weight loss. But my body fat ratio, as measured by higi, was now in the “Acceptable” range! Huh? See:

I continued to keep to the B@N Diet on weekends and follow the other practices during the week. Two weeks later I was down to 206 pounds and every other indicator told me I was in the normal range. My body fat percentage crept lower and never peaked out of the Acceptable range again. We’ll talk about my blood pressure levels later.

I’m a schoolteacher during the school year, and I obviously cannot break out this fantastic diet then, except…Maybe. On. Weekends. What to do? What to do? Make it the “Juice@NoonDiet” during the work week. Follow all the other tenets, only make a (no larger than 16 oz.) nutritional juice with your NutriBullet and pack it for lunch. Keep that water bottle handy. Keep that body-fat ratio in the “Acceptable” range this way.

Don’t Worry. Be Happy. Fish a lot.

Fun Reference:
The Only Beer Diet, lol:http://www.menshealth.com/weight-loss/the-beer-diet

Flight with me (sic, not sick!) at Craft Brewed

I enjoyed a flight of seven four ounce beers (the glasses are 5 ounces but none was filled completely so I'm guesstimating they were coming in around four ounces each) at the wonderful Craft Brewed on Franklin Road last Friday after work and I took notes. Here I share them which you, perhaps to inspire, at least to inspire envy. It's a process. Craft Brewed is right around the corner from Camp Bow Wow, where my pooch Watson spends a day or two once a week. He is a feisty two year old and those camp days are as much to give his much older brother Macguyver a bit of relief as they are to exercise Watson to tiredness. Craft Brewed actually teams up with Bow Wow occasionally for Tuesday evening "Yappy Hours," when leashed doggies are encouraged.

First let me say I am a Rewards cardholder at this establishment. As such, I am promised ten dollars back on my registered credit card for every $150.00 I spend imbibing beer. This to my mind is even better than the ball cap one receives once one has drunk 125 unique beers at Flying Saucer or the wall mounted engraved saucer that gets mounted on the wall at the 200 beer mark. If you consider the minimum cost of a beer at the FS is five dollars the math will bear me out. Much like the proximity of Craft Brewed to Bow Wow, I spent years visiting Flying Saucer while my dear little girl rehearsed choir at Christ Church Cathedral nearby. For the record, I have the cap, but not the saucer!

I had visited the website for Craft Brewed just before leaving work, late, and I had written up a post-it note of what I wanted; but of course 3 of the 7 were tapped out. The friendly tapper agreed that they should change the web display to a webcam. Voila, updated menu always. Will they do this? Time, and the Internetz, will tell. Here's the wall I saw online:

from http://craftbrewednashville.com

Ah well, to the beers. I stood at one of the barrels that serves as a table and sipped...

• Lonerider Peacemaker IPA...very balanced and just hoppy enough to be hoppy. This may be my favorite of the seven, surprisingly, and it's likely the one least likely to offend the hop-averse. Me? I'm hop-friendly to a fault.
• Rivertown L'il Sipa Session IPA...happily hoppy, with a mercilessly intense grapefruity hops follow. This Ohio brew is floral and imposingly hoppy. Me liked. At IBU of 55, it made a believer of me.
• Kentucky Ale...not Pale Aley to me, more like a malty lager. Pursue the link to its description at Lexington Brewing and you'll see it described as a marriage of an Irish Red Ale and an EPA. I'll buy that, which is pretty fitting, since I did buy it.
• Little Harpeth Chicken Scratch...Pilsner, floral in a very different way from the Longrider. Maybe more like flowers and less like grapefruit. I really liked this one, and it's local, so, like, yay. Malted barley, locally grown corn, what' not to like?
• Founders Pale Nitro...bitter for a IBU of only 35. Golden, but if I had to describe its flavor as a color it might be grayish dark brown. A hint of hops doesn't really hit until the back end. Not my favorite, but drinkable: I have rarely met a beer I didn't like.
• Southern Tier 440 'Roggenbier' German Rye...a one-off for Nashville, I am told, and I thought I detected wheat in there (later I discovered it is fermented with a Weizen yeast, which yields the cloudy look and imparts a kind of fruity taste, a little sweet, maybe a good dessert beer, though I'd like it a bit colder. It's temperature at that point was likely a function of its being a small quantity in a small glass and its ordinal placement in my flight. I was a good boy and was taking my time.
• Southern Tier Phin & Matt's... A good closing beer, complex and hoppy, but not either bitter or fruity hoppy, a grown up beer. The head had dissipated to a small flat section of the surface--a polar bear!  I shared that with my beerkeep and he laughed, but I thought I detected a hint of wariness in his expression. Do you see it? Note that by the time I thought to take a pic with my cellphone it had somewhat dissipated. But do you see it? No? Oh well, then.

There really is a polar bear in there...

 Fortified and mellow, but not overly intoxicated due to the fact that I'm a big guy and what a had embibed amounted to less than two pints of beer, I hopped into Huey (my Smart Car) and we picked up the tuckered pup and headed home. Thanks to Craft Brewed and let's to it again sometime, but with different brews!

Dead soldiers in a hops-shaped carrier!

Goodbeershow Number 137!

I'm laughing out loud. I was just chatting with a friend online and popped into the Goodbeershow website to check out the most recent episode so I could share the link with him; and there I was, staring out at myself from what Jeffrey T. calls "one of those one handed MySpace shots" at the tasting room of Yazoo Brewery, where...well, you can read all about it and listen yourself: Episode number 137 of the award-winning Goodbeershow podcast!

WARNING, NOT CHILD OR WORKPLACE SAFE! (due to some more or less grown-up humor).